October 1, 2005 - The Diary continues, in the form of a blog here !
February 24, 2003
(Started on February 14, 2003)
I am really looking forward to next weekend; perhaps almost as much as Liz and Thom are looking forward to next weekend. Why, you might ask? Because that is when I’ll be done with my current training program, and I can go back to living in my own home and Liz and Thom can go back to living in their home.
I suppose that technically I still live there. Practically, though, I have lived in hotels essentially Sunday through Thursday for the past 6 months or so. Long time readers of the old “Diary of a New Dad” may remember that one of the first things that I mentioned about being a new dad was the sense of wonderment, excitement and confusion that I was experiencing back then. With three years of experience under my belt now, I still experience that same sense of wonder every time that I see something through Mattea’s eyes anew. And while the excitement of being a “new” dad may have abated a bit, I can safely say that the sense of confusion has been greatly diminished. Of course, all of these emotions and sensations will likely return when the boys arrive.
Readers of those early pages may also recall that I had thoughts of becoming a stay at home dad because of my extensive travel schedule, which could have me away from the family for extended periods. Theresa and I discussed this fairly extensively – a decision such as that could not be made lightly, nor hastily. We eventually came to the understanding that neither of us was really suited to being a stay at home parent. While we both love Mattea more than either of us ever knew was possible, the thought of taking care of her nonstop twenty four hours a day overwhelms both of us to this day! So we do what we have to do, as does every other parent of every other child.
This, though, is why I’m so thankful for what it is that I do. When I get done with this job next weekend, I will be able to stay at home for the next three months or so with Theresa (when she eventually gets to come home), Mattea and the twins (when they get here). Most “real” jobs just don’t allow for this kind of flexibility. I had to turn down a project in order to stay at home, but with the state of flux that we currently find ourselves in, it made more sense to stay at home, give Mattea a return to some stability while her mom continues to be on doctor ordered hospital bed rest, and hopefully start to make some preparations around the house for the arrival of the boys.
Let’s look at life from Mattea’s point of view for the past five weeks. Previous to five weeks ago, she lived at home with mom during the week, and dad would come home and visit on the weekends. This had been her routine for the previous several months or so. Then one Tuesday, mom finds out that she’s not going home that night, unsure for how long. Mattea spends the night with grandma and grandpa (I think… I was in such a state of shock when I got the news I don’t really remember where she was that night!). I get home the next night and for a week and a half, dad is home with her every night, but mom is in the hospital. We visit every day, but seeing mom in hour long doses lying on her back in a hospital room is not quite the same as hanging out at home. Then dad goes away again, and Auntie Liz and Uncle Thom come to live with Mattea. And while grandma and grandpa help by taking Mattea to see her mom two or three times a week, it’s still not the same as seeing mom every day in her own home. Dad comes home for the weekend and Liz and Thom go home. Then Sunday, dad goes away and Liz and Thom come back. Dad has a short work week and comes home on Wednesday instead of Friday, and Liz and Thom go home. Then Liz and Thom come back for a week to stay with Mattea. Then dad comes home for the weekend again. On this particular weekend, my sister Edwina comes to stay with Mattea the following week. So instead of Liz and Thom coming to live with her “Auntie Sister” (the name that my sister gave herself as regards Mattea… it’s a long story, perhaps one I’ll tell another time) is taking care of her for a week. Then dad comes home again.
At this point I need to take a break from the Mattea point of view narrative.
When I started writing this particular entry, it was, in fact, February 14, 2003. I first started to collect my thoughts and put “pen to paper” in the Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport, and continued those thoughts on the flight home from Phoenix to San Diego. With everything that I had to do at home this weekend, I didn’t get a chance to finish those thoughts, much less post them to the web site. It is now Sunday night, February 16 and I’m sitting in the San Diego airport awaiting a flight to Phoenix. Here’s a quick review of the weekend:
Friday evening (about 6:00 PM) my sister Edwina, and Mattea, picked me up at the airport and we went to the hospital to visit with Theresa. Got home around 9:00 PM and got Mattea to bed and talked with Edwina for just a short time before I had to excuse myself to go to bed myself before I collapsed on the floor in front of her. Mattea came into bed with me about 6:45 AM on Saturday (Where’s Auntie Sister?), which began our day on Saturday. We played in bed for awhile, then went down and had breakfast. Edwina had arranged to have her hair done that morning at the hair salon where Lia works, so Mattea and I got a chance to hang out together. Then we had lunch and she went down for her nap. I had a chance to review some mail, then before I knew it Mattea was awake again.
Before I continue, you should know that Theresa had asked her doctor if it would be okay for her to get out of bed and go for a “walk” (a wheelchair ride around the hospital facility). Although to you and I this may seem like a non-Pip and Pop threatening activity, the powers that be had not allowed Theresa this freedom for any of the previous four and one half weeks. I think finally that they just took pity on her and approved her request. So on Saturday, Theresa was really looking forward to our visit because she had the opportunity to take advantage of a change of scenery.
(It is now February 20th – in bed in a hotel in Tucson)
So after Mattea’s nap, Mattea and I went to take Theresa for her much anticipated walk. Soon after our arrival, I located a wheelchair and off we went – looking for fun and excitement (or at least a change of what must seem like never ending tedium). When we made it out the front door and just sat down to take it all in for a moment, Mattea said something along the lines of “We’re supposed to be going for a walk!” So off we went! (Just so you know, Mattea doesn't always rule the roost, although sometimes it may seem like it from the things that I write. This stuff really is just the tip of the iceberg, which I'm sure you know if you have kids yourself).
We couldn’t be out too long, because Theresa needed to be hooked up to the monitors soon so that the nursing and doctoring staff could keep an eye on the twins. So we made our way back to her room, and I needed to get Mattea home so she could have dinner. Edwina had made some homemade pasta sauce with Italian sausages and a cut up roast in it that just falls apart when your fork touches it. So we went home and had some dinner, then I went back to the hospital and took Theresa some pasta with Edwina’s Sicilian style sauce on it. Theresa had already had dinner, so this was kind of a late evening snack for her, but it was real food – you know the kind that you usually just dream of when you’re in a hospital. And we got a chance to talk – just the two of us for a change. It was a very nice evening.
The next morning we got up early (surprise, surprise – since Mattea gets up around 6:30 or 7:00, everyone gets up around 6:30 or 7:00) and got ready for church. Since we’re still relatively new to the neighborhood, we’re still looking around for a regular church to attend. We were ready and went off to a 9:00 AM service since we wanted to make sure that Mattea got her nap in before her birthday party which was to be held in mom’s hospital room at 3:00 that afternoon. (Trust me… no one would want to be at Mattea’s party if she didn’t get her nap in). The first church that we tried didn’t have a 9:00 AM service, so we found another nearby and walked in a few minutes late. Mattea got antsy part way through (I really believe that that is some kind of a requirement that comes pre-wired in kids psyches) so she and I ended up sitting in the pastor’s office, which doubles as a “family listening room” (according to the signs on the walls). After church we went home, had lunch, and put Mattea down for her nap.
I still needed to make my hotel reservations for the coming week, so while Mattea slept, I was making hotel reservations for each night during the upcoming week. Since I train at various dealerships in multiple cities, I need a new hotel room every night. I also needed to get directions from hotel to dealership and dealership to dealership. As you can imagine, this all takes a fair amount of time. I was still working on it when Mattea awoke. But I had the majority of my work done so I decided to finish the rest of it during the week and get ready for Mattea’s party.
Fortunately, grandma and grandpa had offered to provide the cake and ice cream, so really all we needed to do was to provide the birthday girl. But I was flying to Phoenix directly after the party, so I still had to pack (fortunately for me Edwina had finished the laundry that I had started that morning, or I would have had nothing to wear this week). All this and we arrived only twenty minutes late for our own party! And since the ice cream was already starting to soften, we had cake and ice cream almost immediately, then Mattea was only too ready to start ripping the paper off of all those birthday presents scattered around the room. Most of Mattea’s extended family was able to attend. Theresa has a very small room, but it was large enough (barely) to hold Uncle George and Aunt Lia, Uncle Jim, Auntie Liz and Uncle Thom, Uncle Jeff and Aunt Linnea and Cousin Alex, Grandpa Jim and Grandma Judy, Auntie Sister and of course Mattea and me. Then it was all over seemingly in the blink of an eye, and people were departing in different directions. Mattea trod off with grandma and grandpa as Auntie Sister was going to see a play with Uncle Jim. Liz and Thom were off to see kittens over at Jeff and Linnea’s place, but only after first dropping me off at the airport. It was all very frenzied and fast paced, but that pretty much describes all of my weekends for the past several weeks. (By the way, I may have forgotten to mention that as Mattea and I were leaving the hospital on Saturday she decided to trip and fall and split her lip open and have it swell up to three times its normal size by Sunday morning. I’m not quite sure why she decided to do it Saturday, as that could impact the photographs from her third birthday party, but I guess sometimes these things just happen. Her lip is much better now, and by the party the swelling had actually gone down to a barely noticeable level. She did slightly loosen a tooth though and I think that we may have to keep an eye on that). (Perhaps now you can see why I don’t always have time to update the web site every weekend!).
But getting back to life from the Mattea point of view. This past week, Mattea would be back under the care of her Auntie Liz and Uncle Thom for the last time in awhile. (Do all of theses changes from future tense to past tense to refer to the same time period just make this too weird to follow, or is it just me?) Every week has been different for her since Theresa has gone into the hospital. I’m very much looking forward to being able to provide at least some small measure of stability by being home with her for the next few months.
It’s getting late, and I’m sure you’re very tired of reading this confusing mass of unfiltered thoughts, so I think I’ll call it a day, and hopefully when I put down some thoughts about the twins, it’ll be a little more structured. Bye for now!